I have been thinking lately about children and the ways that they are raised. Are kids generally the same as they have always been, or is something changing? Sure I have already covered the topic of commercialism, but I really think that it is more than just that. How is it that many children always have their hands out, and where does it start? I really haven't had that occur yet with my toddler, now 15 months old. He doesn't really have the concept that when you go to the shops their is a toy section and their are plenty of fun things to buy. Sure I get a very upset little toddler if I go to the pantry and do not produce a biscuit, although I do not think that this is overindulgence, but more learning about nutrition and boundaries. On many occasions I have gone to my step-sons on the weekend, told them I am going to the shops and ask them if they would like to join me. My response from the older one each and every time is "can I get a toy?" When I explain that I am going for x,y and z, and no we were not toy shopping today, he always decides not to come. When one of them gets something (anything in fact), there is a massive song and dance unless the other is provided for also. Just yesterday I heard form my youngest step-child about the fact that my toddler had a part of a broken biscuit, and they did not.
Of course the way that I write this I make these children sound like horrible little humans, they are not. They are really quite lovely and often thoughtful children, with an intense feeling of self-entitlement. But what I am wondering is, how are we raising this in our children. This is not just something my step-sons exhibit, I have seen it time and time again in children, it seems to be more of the rule than the exception. Is it the over-indulgence of their every desire? Is it the merchandising paradise that is Christmas?
I am a bit nervous. We have my step-children for Christmas this year. Although I am really looking forward to that, I am nervous that our 'event' will not measure up to the Christmas that they get at home, and hence, they will not want to be with us for Christmas again. Times like this tend to become a kind of tally of how many gifts and for whom. They tear through their presents in a frenzy wondering if that is it. Not savouring any of them really. My husband keeps encouraging me to do what we feel is right, that it will be fine. I know that at the end of the day they are going to enjoy what they are given, but will this be spoilt by their sense of entitlement? It is so easy to go a spend an extra $200 to fill up their piles of gifts with useless garbage that will break the first time they use it, but I don't want to do that either. I would rather have a limited number of well manufactured, ethically produced quality toys.
I don't write this post because I am better than all the parents of these entitled children, I just don't want my children to become one of them. What I find hardest however, is trying to balance my own parenting between my own children, and my step-children. However this dilemma is for another post.
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